Hockey Fan Who Said He Wouldn’t Watch NHL Anymore Because of Lockout Buys Season Tickets

"I'm weak!" Vince Pool said.

“I’m weak!” Vince Pool said.

Vince Pool, a 33-year-old carpenter from Manchester Township, N.J., said he was so disgusted by the greed and selfishness demonstrated by the millionaire players and billionaire owners during the lockout, that he would never buy tickets to another game, has just bought season tickets for the shortened 2012-2013 season.

“Yeah, I know I said i would never buy another ticket, but I don’t know. I just like hockey,” Pool said.

Pool, who makes little over $25,000 a year, said he would rather lick a toilet bowl in a truck stop than allow a dime of his hard-earned money go into the pockets of greedy NHL team owners and whiny NHL players, who make more in a week than Pool does in a decade of backbreaking, thankless work.

“I said a lot of things, I know,’ Pool said.

Pool, who can’t afford health insurance, can’t afford to take a girl out on a date, and will probably develop heart disease by the time he is 40 because he lives off mainly high sodium ramen noodles, said he would rather place his testicles on a hot stove as children were forced to watch than see his hard-earned pennies go to the NHL, which enjoyed record profits in 2012 – the same year Pool had to move back into his parent’s basement because he could no longer afford his own place.

“Look, hockey is my only joy!” Pool said. “I’m sorry! I’m weak! My life sucks! I’m sorry!”

In order to pay for the season tickets, Pool sold his car and his dignity.