Monthly Archive: December, 2012

Comedian Jim Norton Attacked By Cross-Dressing Sabres Fans and Derek Roy in Buffalo Bar

Comedian Jim Norton, in Buffalo for a series of shows at a new comedy club in the “Queen City,” was attacked by a group of cross-dressing Sabres fans and former Sabre Derek Roy.… Continue reading

EXCLUSIVE: Details of the NHL Owners’ New Offer to NHLPA

The investigative team of The Real Hockey News has uncovered details of the new offer made by the NHL’s owners to the players. Here are a few of the new demands: 1) All… Continue reading

American Hockey Fan Tries to Watch World Juniors, Fails

Luke Renner, 22, an American hockey fan born and bred in Lyon Township, Mich., attempted to be excited to watch World Juniors Championship hockey, but simply could not do so. “I don’t know,”… Continue reading

Sabres Owner Terry Pegula to Buy Entire NHL for Christmas, End Lockout

Buffalo Sabres owner and energy billionaire Terry Pegula has announced he will buy all 30 NHL teams for himself this Christmas in order to end the lockout. “I’m just tired of all the… Continue reading

Ilya Bryzgalov Demands NHL Change Game Time Format from 3 Periods to 3 ‘Instantaeous Occurrences of the Absolute’

As the NHL’s owners and players continue to hash out their differences, Philadelphia FLyers’ goalie Ilya Bryzgalov has announced he has a personal demand: to restructure the NHL’s game time format from three… Continue reading

Paulina Gretzky to Lead Lockout Negotiations with Help of Blonde Friends

Paulina Gretzky, the daughter of hockey great Wayne, has decided to use her clout to speed up negotiations between the NHL’s owners and players – and she won’t be doing it alone. “Hockey… Continue reading

Henrik Lundqvist Worried Because Nobody’s Taken a Pretty Picture of Him in Months

For many people, the NHL lockout has caused hardships. From fans deprived of their favorite game to concession workers who are losing income, the lockout has had severe effects. But for New York… Continue reading

NHLPA Boss Donald Fehr Arrested After Refusing to Leave McDonald’s Unless Breakfast Be Served At Night

NHLPA head negotiator Donald Fehr was arrested Monday evening at a McDonald’s in Manhattan after refusing to leave unless he was served breakfast. McDonald’s stops serving breakfast at 11 a.m. and Fehr asked… Continue reading

NHLPA Bans Ryan Miller from Future Negotiations because of ‘Freaky Stare’ Tactics

As the labor talks between the NHLPA and owners continue to disappoint fans everywhere, the NHLPA representative believed to have had the most influence in the negotiations has been banned from participating in… Continue reading

3 Ways the NHL Can Really Bring Back Fans

With respect to our esteemed colleagues at The Hockey Writers, we feel that their “5 Ways the NHL Can Bring Back Fans,” is not the answer. Sure, allowing people to see the games… Continue reading