Teenager Realizes Paulina Gretzky Looks Too Much Like Wayne Gretzky to Fantasize About
A bored teenager sitting at his computer all day was in the midst of spending quality time by himself when he made a startling discovery.
“She looks just like the Great One!” he claims to have said when he realized that Paulina Gretzky, the daughter of hockey legend Wayne Gretzky, looks just like her father.
“I couldn’t believe it,” said Barry Wilson, 15, of Mississauga, Ontario. “I was doing you know what while looking at all those pictures and videos of Paulina Gretzky in bikinis and pouring water all over herself and eating olives when it hit me: that chick looks just like Wayne Gretzky!”
Wilson said that he was overcome with shame, self-doubt, and an intense confusion over his sexuality when he noticed the striking similarities between the two Gretzkys.
“I just couldn’t believe what I had done,” Wilson said. “Not only was I possibly defiling The Great One, but I was also kind of attracted to him. Well, not him. But someone that looks like him. Basically a 1982 version of Wayne with platinum blonde hair and fake boobs.”
The confused teen added: “I just don’t know who I am anymore.”